Living with anxiety and depression is like having an invisible and uninvited crew everywhere you go.
There’s Hector the Heckler (picture Howard’s mother from Big Bang Theory), the voice of anxiety shouting things like “nobody likes you, everyone is judging you, you’re not good enough; you’re fat, too this, too that, not enough this or that. Just cut your losses, stay home and read your book”.
Then there’s Dick the Depressive who is sometimes silent for long stretches then unexpectedly reappears (surprise mother@#cker!), sits on my shoulders and weighs me down like an anchor. Picture Kaa, whispering helpful sounding things and reminding me how much better things are if I just stay in bed all day. Kaa’s whispers remind me of basic dog commands, such as “sit, stay, lie down, home”and “go to your bed”.
Going through the day with chronic pain conditions? It’s like a poltergeist lives inside my body, breakdancing and trying to kick, stab, pinch and pummel its way out. I can’t predict what I’ll feel like from day-to-day. If I’m really having a bad day, people might ask “what happened?” The answer is, I woke up.
All of these are invisible illnesses but they are quite real.
Today is a good day! It’s just me and the poltergeist.