Honesty. Without it, there is no trust. It’s very simple.
Nobody wants to be “played” or manipulated. This comes up as I consider whether or not to have cardiac ablation. 3 cardiologists have told me what an easy, breezy procedure it is, go home the same day, back to normal in a day or two. (The procedure is easy for them, because they do them all the time. Not so easy for the patient). Yet, my research, and conversations with people who have had the procedure, do not match up with this representation. At all! It is awake surgery (a 2 word combination that fills me with dread. I was under sedation for wisdom teeth extraction–teeth). I was offered a local anesthetic to numb the place where they cut into a major (femoral) artery. That’s it. I won’t bore you with all the details, but the gist of it is, they burn a part of your heart. Kill it, dead. That shit hurts! It can last from 1-4 hours, depending. Awake surgery; anxiety disorder. These don’t go together! Having doctors try to sell me on this by minimizing the risks, the pain, the recovery…so not helpful. I have until February 6 to think (worry, obsess) about this before I return to discuss my decision. In the meantime, my healthy skepticism is taking a rather unhealthy turn. Just tell the truth: Doctors, this means you, too!
Lying to someone (in any form; omission, evasion, misrepresentation) with an anxiety disorder, in order to minimize their anxiety, doesn’t work!! In fact, it is the worse possible approach. Anxiety is not a lack of intelligence, we know when we are being played. I’ve been guilty of this myself, trying to downplay the negative. I know that it probably comes from a place of compassion, not wanting to cause someone extra worry. That is nice, but it just doesn’t work.