Pain, or nausea? Everyday this is the choice. For me, and millions of people who take medication for chronic illness. Medication that is necessary, but the side effects are not worth it. I didn’t used to understand why intelligent people would stop taking their medication and then end up in the hospital, or in the grips of their mental illness. Now I do. I really do.
At least once a year I tell my doctor that I want to stop or reduce the pain medication because it is awful for my stomach. My pain meds make my digestive system grind to a painful halt and I have to cancel plans, I miss things because I feel too sick. Now it is a very short conversation where he reminds me that every single time I have done this, I have come back to him in worse condition and needing to go back to my original dosage. The one that we discovered after lots of trial and error. Today is a really bad gut day. Maybe I have a virus, not sure I’d know if I did, the symptoms are a lot like how I feel everyday. I take a really good probiotic daily, and drink tons of water, but it seems to not be doing the trick.
There are other meds, of course, but they have had worse side effects. To me, the worse ones are mental. I don’t want to feel fuzzy, sleepy and dopey; unless it almost time for bed. Dizziness is one step too close to vomiting. So I am stuck, for now, and maybe for a long time. I guess I need to try harder to counter the side effects. I don’t want to take yet another med everyday, to manage my stomach. It kinda sucks.