When only the most will do. No pill left behind.
These are for my imaginary ad campaign for pain pills. Mostly they’re just for me, to try to make light of being in pain.
I have reduced my pain meds, because of the side effects. Now the pain has been worse, but was bearable. Unfortunately, my side effects are no better one month in. Some days are just really bad, and that lower dose that sounded like such a good idea at the time now seems just naive.
Especially when I got hit with a flare. Those who are familiar with fibromyalgia know what the term flare means. Basically, it is when all your symptoms hit you at once, turned up to 11. You wake up feeling like you were attacked by thugs with baseball bats. Bonus: it lasts for days!
One time I said to my husband, screw this it’s a full throttle empty the bottle kind of pain day. The bottle means medication, not booze, and no I’m not serious, I was just being clever (!)
I’ve spent the past 2 days managing symptoms and trying to move as much as possible. This morning I am sitting here medicated, with a heating pad on my lower back, a heat pack on my leg and a heat wrap around my neck and shoulders. Paints a pretty sexy picture, doesn’t it? My goal for today is to resist the siren call of my warm safe bed, for as long as I can.
Being fairly useless as a productive member of the household, let alone of society, is quite disheartening and against my will. I like to be productive, and like most people, dislike needing help.
There is hope, and I do have a plan (to ask for help) for when I am feeling like I can leave the house. For right now, it’s a pity party for one.